Once Sam told me.....

I had a friend 'Sam', his real name was 'Ahmed Sayem Shamshi'. People use to call him with different name, and he loved it. Just because he played different characters in life. I remember, one evening  we four friends were having chit-chat when all of a sudden he came to the topic 'Mask'. According to him every human being should wear a mask in front of every new individual. That makes difficult for people to guess your weakness.I remember he gave as a long one hour speech on this topic. He was the only one among four of us who was saying something. Something really practical to hear. I must say I was really lucky to have such an intellectual friend with me.
He told me that hard core truth about people which I realize every day. H e told me that every relationship is for a selfish means, for a need only. Your every relative will talk to you for their own means, for their own work, Non of the relationship is just like that. Not even friends and lover. I found this truth. and feel it daily.
 if your lover really don't feel lonely, or have some work with you they will not give a damn concern to you. same with friends they are their only when they need your support, when they require someone to listen to them, give true advice, etc..
YEAH!!! exception case are always there

Baby I kept messaging you, No reply I understand you were busy. But why you kept me awaken till this time to wait for your call. If you didn't wanted to talk you could have just said Dear I don't want to talk. I would have kept the phone without asking why. I wish you just get that I am dying out of your love and left nothing to do. just think where I am leading to. I am sorry if I am hurting you. I am sorry if I am wrong. But these are the things I am going through. just a question why I should give you right to hurt me again and again??

What Should I Say Now........??

Again you came in front of me,
Everything repeated again,
Again you wished me in the same way,
Now what should I say.....

You asked me about my health,
You asked me about my life,
You asked me how did I spend my day,
Now what should I say......

You can't see what wrong with me,
You can't understand what going through,
My life is turning Grey,
Now what should I say.......

Each time we meet I have expectation,
That you'll love me more,
Every time expectations ruin away,
Now what should I say........

A Question in My Mind.....

last few days i was just wondering about our life. and I ended up with few question in my mind.
may be just because what happened in my past. although it was not tragic. But it still hurt me some or the other way. In my life I always wanted a guy who can understand me well, ofcourse he should love me but more than that understand me...
Many guys rather would say prince came into my life. except one no other had known me so well. He even understood my silence. What I wanted to say was always on his mind. Today while writing this post I am just so emotional that even I can cry. But would not do so cause my life is not for crying on everything around me. Yeah! I have that regret that I don't have that prince in my life anymore...I don't have that alladin in my life, who use to hear those silent word when i really don't wanted to speak. i remember whenever i was silent and he wanted me to speak up....I never did so and he always got irritated. I just kept wondering why he wanted me to Speak when he knows exactly what i wanted to say. but gradually i understood that actually he wanted to just listen them through me. it really important sometimes to speak up cause there are few people sitting next to you to just listen to you. But always loved his mindreading.
Dear hubby, I just wonder why don't you get those silent of mine. why you never understood that my miscall says that i am missing you eagerly and wanted to talk. I don't get it when i am angry at you, yelling on you.....why don't you get that i don't like it you talking to that girl again and again all over again. I don't know how you each and every time misunderstand me never understand what i wanted to say, even if i say it clearly. Every time your thoughts make me feel that you don't know me not a single thing about me except my name. Whatever you said to me, or say about me I just feel my classmates know me better than you. if you can't understand me how can we live together. cause I don't find a difference in getting married to a stranger and you. You don't know me neither that person will. then what purpose of this love marriage. and this thought is not all of a sudden. earlier i thought you are an innocent guy so you need time to understand thing but every time the same things happening. I am really upset today. ended up with question that why I am calling you my hubby when you can't understand me well. when I always needed a person who can understand me well??
why?? why??